UNFUCKWITHABLE

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I know this time of year, I should write a blog post talking about love and kindness. But the Universe has failed to fully recognize that it’s the Holiday Season over here, and recently I’ve been thrown some curve balls. Actually, it’s been a year of a few curve balls.

Reflecting on this, I thought I’d inspire you to be more UNFUCKWITHABLE. And you know that when I’m talking to you, I’m really just talking to me out loud.

First a Story
A while back ago, I had a business situation with a client from Atlanta, whose big order to us was being compromised by a supplier of his not willing to work with my engineers. My team tried all manner of reason to deal with this supplier and when it wasn’t going right, they escalated it to me. I tried everything I knew to do. Nothing worked.

I got on a flight to Atlanta, and flew in one of our engineers, Robert. We went to our client’s plant, but after our best efforts, the supplier was not cooperating. I somehow managed to get a meeting with the supplier–I won’t put in writing how–but I did. In the meeting, I decided to pay really good attention to this man. I listened to him, his word-salads and his better-than-you attitude. He was a weak person with an overblown sense of himself. He reminded me of the manipulative catty mean girls from grade school.

He seemed to have disdain for people who exhibited healthy behaviors, like my engineers. He was rude, uncooperative,  and seemed to enjoy fucking with people. I wasn’t going to take it. Not for my client. Not for our company. Not for me.

I had nothing to lose, so I called him on it. I told him he reminded me of a catty mean girl. I could see I shocked him. He’d thought he was making ground intimidating me, but he wasn’t. He was just too weak and too full of himself to get a good estimation of me.

I called this big male executive a girl.

To my engineer, Robert’s relief, the supplier immediately began cooperating, and we managed to coordinate enough to service our client. The biggest surprise of this story, is that I was immediately offered a job by the supplier’s company. I’d never want to work for weak manipulative people but it was an interesting twist to our experience.

That night at dinner, my engineer, Robert and I had a nice Scotch and we went over the situation. He was so happy with me. He said I was UNFUCKWITHABLE. I didn’t realize how much that meant to me until much later.

A few months after this happened, I was thinking about how I felt with my body. I’d been dieting, and dieting, and depriving, and depriving. I’d get on the scale and it would make me feel sad. I just kind of felt unsatisfied about this whole-body-shrinking-quest. It left me feeling weak. Weak. Weak. And weaker.

And, then I had an idea: UNFUCKWITHABLE. I needed to tell my body who the boss is. I just didn’t know how. But I came to realize this: some image of how small my body is supposed to look wasn’t going to cut it anymore. I needed to question this belief and this image. It needed to be about how I felt. I needed to flip this weak feeling, whole-body-shrinking-quest into a feeling of empowerment.

So, I did something I do well: I started paying attention.

I started looking at people who have healthy physical behaviors. People who are strong and empowered by their bodies, not weakened or shamed. I paid attention big time.

All of these people shared one thing in common: they all strength trained/lifted weights. Every one of them. They enjoy great meals, but mostly eat nutritiously as their way of life. They all limit their alcohol intake. They don’t “diet.” Not one of them. Rather they feed their bodies, fuel their workouts, and they’ve let their bodies do the process that good nutrition and strength training create for a healthy body. Some of the weight lifters also like to run and bike, but this is on top of their strength/weight training. I also noticed that they never talk about shrinking or depriving. And they’re NOT weak.

I began my research. And I came up with STRONG and BENDY. It just sounded so right to me. I found a seasoned highly educated trainer, whom I have come to have so much respect for, and we set it all up. I started out a little–or maybe extremely–intimidated, but completely willing to give it all that I’ve got. I’ve never looked back. I am absolutely in love with weights and strength training.

I feel so good about myself. I feel STRONG. And I’m stronger, if not daily, then weekly. And BENDY. My range of motion has improved so much.

A few weeks ago, our family got thrown a curve ball. A tough one. So, I upped my sessions. It’s how I now deal. It beats eating extra cupcakes. I do three weight/strength training and two HIIT sessions a week now.

I am a better help to my friends and family when I start with me. The healthier physically, and the greater my state of mind, the more of me they have.

A couple weeks ago I was feeling really sad about one of our curve balls. The Hubs came over and asked me about attending a Holiday party. I said I didn’t think we should go considering our recent curve ball. The Hubs said, “I’m taking out a sexy UNFUCKWITHABLE woman to this party. Get yourself a cocktail dress and I’ll take you out” (I like it when he talks all-commanding-sexy-guy like that). I immediately ordered a pretty pretty dress.

Heart disease has hit our family. Last week we lost a dear friend to cancer. I have two other friends currently dealing with tough cancer prognoses. And I have a lovely friend that deals with Lupus every single day. My cousin, Ruben is still in physical therapy recovering from the effects of a massive stroke. These people have taken UNFUCKWITHABLE to new heights, and I’m in awe.

I don’t know what curve balls life has in store. In the meantime, I’m not going to sit around deprived, disappointed and weak. And hungry.

If you’re beating yourself up about your weight, and the whole-body-shrinking-quest, or curve balls, I encourage you to find your UNFUCKWITHABLE. Maybe it’s Yoga. Or running trails. Or joining me to lift sexy weights. I invite you to find it.

The Holiday Party? We had the best time. Because even when life throws you a curve ball, getting all dolled up with a sexy cocktail dress, with a tall handsome escort, can make you feel empowered and UNFUCKWITHABLE.

~Mari

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